EQ: The What
Leadership requires more than technical skill. Many leaders step into their roles after proving themselves through hands-on work, problem-solving, and persistence. As responsibilities grow, the role begins to evolve. Knowing how to do the work is still important, but now the focus turns to guiding others with clarity, composure, and sound judgment. That change calls for a different kind of strength: emotional intelligence.
The good news is that EQ can be built over time. Like a muscle, it strengthens through repetition. Daniel Goleman, who helped bring emotional intelligence into leadership conversations, compares it to physical fitness. It takes habit, practice, and intention. And just like physical strength, emotional fitness pays off in how you show up, respond, and lead under pressure.
Self-Assessment: EQ - The What
Please take a few moments to contemplate the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for personal growth in your leadership?
Do I regularly stop to consider how my emotions affect my judgment and decisions?
How effectively do I manage my emotions, especially in challenging or stressful situations?
Am I aware of how my tone and behavior affect the people I work with?
When listening, do I stay focused on the other person’s perspective without jumping to conclusions?
Do I express empathy in a way that feels honest and natural—not forced or performative?
Can I name the values or goals that drive me as a leader?
Do I feel a clear sense of purpose in my work, even when the day-to-day gets busy?
Am I committed to continuously developing and enhancing my emotional intelligence as a leader?
Remember, this self-assessment is just a starting point for understanding your knowledge of Emotional Intelligence as a leader. It's essential to reflect on your responses and actively work on areas where improvement is needed. Additionally, working with your ECFL Leadership Coach or seeking feedback from a trusted mentor can provide valuable insights into your strengths and weaknesses.
“When a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master.”
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others. First defined by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990, EQ became widely known thanks to Daniel Goleman, who highlighted its importance for leadership in his 1998 Harvard Business Review article, What Makes a Leader. He explained that while IQ and technical skills are important, EQ is what sets great leaders apart.
Developing emotional intelligence strengthens relationships, supports better decision-making, and helps you turn intention into action. It builds awareness of what drives you and how your behavior affects the people around you. Over time, that awareness shapes better judgment, steadier leadership, and clearer alignment between your values and your choices.
There are four key components of EQ:
Self-Awareness: Knowing what you feel, why you feel it, and how it shapes your behavior
Self-Management: Handling your emotions in a way that supports clear thinking and steady leadership
Social Awareness: Paying attention to the tone, needs, or energy in a conversation and adjusting your response
Relationship Management: Communicating clearly, handling tension with care, and building trust over time
You’ll go deeper into each of these in the next session. For now, remember that EQ is not simply about avoiding emotions. Instead, it’s about learning how to be aware of them so you can lead even when things feel unmanageable.
Emotional Intelligence in Action
Throughout history, we find examples of leaders who have demonstrated high levels of Emotional Intelligence, both in their regular daily interactions and when faced with the most historical of challenges. Among these notable leaders was Abraham Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln was a master of Emotional Intelligence. Not only was he able to remain calm and collected under pressure, but he was also always mindful of the needs and concerns of others. He was also a proficient communicator, skilled in both writing and orating, and he was able to build strong relationships with people from all walks of life.
Lincoln's EQ was particularly evident in his leadership during the American Civil War as he united the country behind a common cause, navigating the many challenges of the war with wisdom and compassion.
Entrepreneur and co-founder of Virgin, Richard Branson, is another leader known for his high Emotional Intelligence. Branson has long recognized the value of EQ and has said, “Being emotionally intelligent is more important in every aspect of life—and this includes business. Being a good listener, finding empathy, understanding emotions, communicating effectively, treating people well, and bringing out the best in others is critical to success. It also helps you build a business that truly understands people and solves their problems, creating a happier and healthier team.” He also added, “If I had let my IQ and my school grades determine my success, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today.”
“Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without knowing it.”
A high level of EQ can strengthen several areas of leadership, including:
Decision Making: EQ helps leaders manage emotions and stay calm under pressure, leading to better decisions.
Conflict Resolution: High EQ allows leaders to understand different perspectives and find solutions that benefit everyone.
Building Trust: Leaders with EQ are seen as authentic and trustworthy, helping to build strong relationships with their teams.
Adaptability: EQ helps leaders navigate change and support their teams through transitions.
Employee Engagement: When leaders show empathy and understanding, employees feel more valued and are more motivated to contribute.
Innovation and Creativity: EQ fosters an open environment where team members feel safe to share ideas and take risks.
Building Emotional Intelligence takes consistency and patience, much like laying a strong foundation. The work you put in now supports your long-term growth as a leader. A high EQ helps manage stress, strengthen relationships, and maintain steady performance. While emotions are part of leadership, decisions should stay grounded in awareness and logic. Below are a few best practices for developing EQ:
Cultivate emotional awareness: The first step in developing your EQ is becoming more aware of your emotions. Pay attention to how you feel throughout the day and identify what triggers those emotions.
Learn to manage your emotions: Once you are aware of your emotions, focus on managing them effectively. Find healthy ways to handle stress and anger, and express your emotions positively and productively.
Practice empathy: Work on understanding and sharing the feelings of others. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see things from their perspective.
Build strong relationships: Strong connections are key to success in life. Be genuine, authentic, and willing to listen to others to foster meaningful relationships.
Be mindful of your communication: Pay attention to how you communicate. Your tone, body language, and word choice all influence how others perceive and respond to you.
Emotional Intelligence develops through practice, not theory. The more you apply it in real situations, the stronger it becomes. Leaders who build EQ make clearer decisions, communicate with consistency, and handle challenges with focus. These habits reinforce operational discipline by keeping work organized, expectations clear, and performance consistent.
As you continue strengthening your EQ, pay attention to the moments that test your patience or perspective! These are the situations that reveal how self-aware you really are. In the next session, we’ll take a closer look at the four core components of Emotional Intelligence and explore practical ways to build each one into your leadership approach.
Reflection Questions:
When do you find it hardest to stay aware of your emotions, and what usually triggers that reaction?
How does your emotional response influence the way you communicate or make decisions?
What small, consistent actions could help you strengthen your emotional awareness each day?
Strengthen your understanding of Emotional Intelligence by sticking with the following resources. Use this opportunity to note new insights and adhere to practices that will enhance your leadership journey.
What Makes a Leader?
Daniel Goleman
What People (Still) Get Wrong About Emotional Intelligence
Daniel Goleman
Emotionally Intelligent People Embrace These 10 Simple Rules
Justin Bariso
