Overcoming Ego for Growth
In police work, confidence is critical—but unchecked ego can get in the way. Ego is one of the biggest barriers to coachability. It can make us defensive, resistant to input, or unwilling to admit when there’s room for improvement. And in this profession, where growth and teamwork are essential, that mindset can hold us back.
Overcoming ego doesn’t mean losing your edge or doubting your skills. It means being strong enough to admit you don’t know everything. It’s about embracing feedback, being open to learning, and seeing challenges as chances to get better—not as threats to your authority.
Ego often shows up when we feel judged, uncertain, or uncomfortable. That’s human. But when ego goes unchecked, it can shut down communication, strain relationships, and create a culture where others feel hesitant to speak up. That doesn’t help anyone—not your team, not your partners, and not the community.
Leaders who manage their ego create space for better decisions and stronger teams. They become more approachable, more respected, and more effective. By setting ego aside, you open the door to collaboration, improvement, and leadership that earns trust.
Self-Assessment:
Overcoming Ego for Growth
Please take a few moments to answer the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for personal growth in your leadership and coachability?
Do I find it difficult to admit when I am wrong or when I do not have all the answers?
When someone offers input, do I listen openly, or do I feel the need to justify my actions?
Do I ever dismiss ideas too quickly because they challenge my way of thinking
How do I respond when someone points out an area where I could improve?
Do I see vulnerability as a strength in leadership, or do I associate it with weakness?
Have I ever avoided asking for help because I worried it would make me look less capable?
When faced with a challenge, do I focus on learning and growth, or do I become defensive?
How comfortable am I with receiving input from people in different roles, even if they have less experience than me?
Remember, this self-assessment is just a starting point for overcoming your ego as a leader. It's essential to reflect on your responses and actively work on areas where improvement is needed.
In police work, ego can be an invisible barrier between where you are and where you want to be. It can keep you stuck in old habits, make it harder to accept input, and prevent you from admitting when something isn’t working. Officers who lead with ego often see challenges as threats rather than as chances to improve. Instead of listening to different perspectives, they may go into defense mode—justifying decisions, explaining away mistakes, or trying to prove their authority.
But here's the truth: ego-driven reactions are usually fueled by fear—fear of failure, fear of losing respect, or fear of appearing less capable. That fear can cause even strong leaders to shut down growth, miss key feedback, and push away the very input that could make them better.
The best police leaders understand that growth requires discomfort. When you shift from protecting your ego to embracing continuous learning, you gain the ability to lead with confidence and humility. You make smarter decisions, build stronger relationships, and earn deeper trust within your team and community.
Leaders who manage ego well create a culture where:
Officers feel safe speaking up and offering different viewpoints
Feedback is welcomed, not feared
Mistakes are used to learn, not to assign blame
This kind of leadership strengthens morale, improves performance, and promotes real accountability.
The Ego Check-In
A simple way to stay aware of how ego shows up in your leadership is to do a quick ego check-in at the end of your shift or week. It takes just a few minutes and helps you recognize patterns before they become problems.
Ask yourself:
“Did I get defensive today? What triggered it?”
“Was I more focused on being right than really listening?”
“Did I dismiss someone’s idea too quickly? What might I have missed?”
“Did I avoid owning a mistake or adjusting my approach?”
“Did I choose to be curious instead of defensive? What impact did that have?”
Taking time to reflect—either through journaling or just mentally reviewing your day—builds the self-awareness needed to grow. Over time, these small shifts in mindset lead to stronger leadership, better teamwork, and greater respect from those you serve and lead.
“The greatest leaders are those who are willing to listen and learn, knowing that their ego is their greatest enemy.”
Detective Morgan was known for solving tough cases and leading from the front. But behind the accolades, his team had stopped offering ideas—they assumed he’d dismiss them anyway.
One day, a rookie officer hesitantly suggested a theory on a stalled investigation. Morgan almost cut him off, but caught himself and listened. The lead turned out to be the breakthrough they needed.
In that moment, Morgan realized his ego had been blocking collaboration. His need to always have the answer had cost his team time, trust, and morale. Letting go of ego didn’t make him less of a leader—it made him more of one.
For police officers, especially in leadership, overcoming ego is essential. It opens the door to better communication, stronger teamwork, and smarter policing. When the badge becomes a shield for humility rather than pride, everyone benefits—from the officers on the team to the community they serve.
Reflection Questions:
What did Detective Morgan’s experience teach about the impact of ego on leadership?
How can ego unintentionally silence input or innovation within a team?
Have you ever seen a situation where a leader’s ego got in the way of progress? What was the result?
Why is it difficult for some officers to admit they don’t have all the answers? What can help shift that mindset?
Confidence is essential—but unchecked ego can become one of the biggest obstacles to growth in policing. It often shows up as defensiveness, resistance to feedback, or the need to always be right. Managing ego isn’t about losing your edge—it’s about knowing when pride or emotion is getting in the way of becoming a better officer, teammate, or leader.
Best Practices for Managing Ego on the Job:
1. Recognize Ego and Respond with Curiosity
Ego often kicks in when you feel challenged or corrected. The key is recognizing it and choosing curiosity instead of defensiveness.
Pause before reacting. Ask yourself, “What might they see that I don’t?”
Replace pushback with a question like, “Can you walk me through what you’re seeing?”
2. Separate Feedback from Identity
Feedback is about improving your performance—not attacking your character. Taking it personally closes the door to growth.
Remind yourself: “This is about helping me get better, not proving I’m not good enough.”
Focus on the behavior being addressed, not how it makes you feel in the moment.
3. Reframe Vulnerability as Strength
Owning your growth areas doesn’t make you weak—it shows you’re serious about leading well.
Be open about one thing you're working to improve, and ask for a teammate’s input.
Say, “I don’t have all the answers—what do you think?” This invites respect and collaboration.
4. Pause and Reflect Before Reacting
In law enforcement, decisions often need to be made quickly—but not every conversation is an emergency.
When emotions rise, take a breath, count to five, and choose a calm, thoughtful response.
Ask yourself: “What response would strengthen trust and move this forward?”
5. Build a Network of Honest Feedback Partners
Surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth—not just what you want to hear.
Regularly ask peers or supervisors: “What’s one thing I could do better?”
Seek input from people with different roles or perspectives—you’ll grow faster.
Bottom Line:
Ego doesn’t need to be erased—but it must be managed. When ego takes over, it damages trust, blocks growth, and weakens the team. But when officers recognize it, pause, and refocus on learning and teamwork, they make better decisions, communicate more clearly, and earn respect. Real strength comes from knowing when to listen, consider other views, and put the team above personal pride.
Enhance your understanding of Overcoming Ego for Growth by reviewing the following resources. Take this opportunity to enhance your leadership effectiveness and expand your influence within the department and community.
Brené Brown - Embracing Vulnerability
A Blessing And A Curse: How Can Leaders Manage Their Egos?
The Ego-Trap: How Coaching Helps Leaders Manage and Overcome Ego-Driven Behaviors