Know When to Speak Up
Every yes has a cost. That is one of the easiest things to forget during a busy workday. In many roles—whether in the office, in the field, or somewhere in between—it can feel like we are supposed to say yes to every request, question, or task that comes our way. And while saying yes can be helpful, it also takes time, focus, and energy. If we say yes too often or without thinking it through, we start to lose track of what we actually need to be doing.
Rather than shutting people out, boundaries give you the clarity and space to stay present and effective where it counts. They help us focus on what is important, stay steady when things get busy, and make sure we do not burn out trying to be everywhere at once.
When we do not set boundaries, we end up reacting instead of responding. We overcommit. We try to do everything and make everyone happy. But over time, that leaves us tired, distracted, and spread too thin. Clear boundaries give us space to think. They help us speak up when it counts and step back when we need to.
This session focuses on learning to protect your time and attention. It is about knowing when to speak up, how to communicate with clarity, and how to make decisions that reflect what matters most.
“Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”
Self-Assessment: Know When to Speak Up
Please take a few moments to answer the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for personal growth in your leadership?
What matters most in this season of my work and life?
Am I protecting that with how I spend my time and energy?
What do I regularly say yes to that is no longer helpful?
Where in my week do I feel most overextended?
How comfortable am I saying no?
What makes it difficult to protect my limits?
When was the last time I felt fully present and focused?
What needs to change to protect that kind of focus more often?
Remember, this self-assessment is just a starting point for understanding of Knowing When to Speak Up as a leader. It's essential to reflect on your responses and actively work on areas where improvement is needed.
There is a common idea that strong leadership means saying yes to everything and being available all the time. But that kind of constant access does not lead to productivity or strong decisions. It leads to burnout. Real leadership means showing up with focus and being present where it counts, and boundaries are what help make that possible. Boundaries help protect your time, your energy, and the quality of your work, so you can stay focused on what matters most.
Let’s look at a familiar scenario:
You check your schedule and realize you have agreed to three new requests this week. None of them are emergencies. None of them align with your main priorities. But you said yes anyway.
Now, your focus time is gone. You feel rushed and frustrated. You try to push through, but you are distracted and exhausted.
Then you pause. You ask, “What matters most right now?” You realize that your priorities have been set aside in order to meet every request. Not because you had to, but because you did not stop to weigh the cost of each yes.
Use that moment of realization as a turning point. Start small. Begin checking in with yourself before saying yes. Speak up when your plate is full. Build boundaries that protect your focus and your energy, so you can show up with clarity and intention instead of pressure.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”
Here are three things to keep in mind as you practice speaking up and setting boundaries:
Respond, don’t react.
Give yourself a moment before answering a request or responding to tension. A short pause helps you lead from calm rather than impulse. Let clarity guide your response, not urgency or emotion.
Keep the issue the issue.
Stay focused on what actually needs to be addressed. It is easy to let tone, timing, or frustration take over the conversation, but clarity gets lost when that happens. The more grounded you are, the more likely you are to be heard.
Focus on what you can control.
You cannot control how someone else reacts, but you can control how you show up and what you communicate. Speak with honesty, stay steady, and let the rest unfold without trying to manage everything.
Here are some examples of what setting boundaries might sound like:
“I want to give this the time it deserves, but I can’t commit to it this week.”
“I am currently focused on a priority project, so I need to hold my time for that right now.”
“I’m at capacity this week. Can we revisit this later or look at other options?”
“I’m not the best person for this, but I can help you connect with someone who might be.”
“I can do that, but it means I’ll need to move something else off my plate. Let’s talk through priorities.”
“For now, I need to protect some uninterrupted time to work through my core responsibilities.”
“Let me check my schedule and get back to you. I want to make sure I can follow through if I say yes.”
“I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’ll need to decline in order to stay focused.”
If setting boundaries feels difficult, and your instinct is to say yes right away, practice using a pause phrase like, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.” Even if you know the answer will be yes, giving yourself that pause builds the habit of checking in before committing.
It is not always easy to say no or to speak up when something is not working. Here are some best practices to help you figure out what matters most and when to use your voice with clarity and purpose. Remember, speaking up well means being thoughtful about what you say and when, why, and how you say it.
1. Know Why You Are Speaking Up: Before you bring something up, ask yourself what your goal is. Are you trying to fix a problem? Offer support? Ask for space? Being clear on your purpose helps you stay grounded and keeps the conversation focused.
2. Keep Your Delivery Steady: The message matters, but so does the way you say it. Speak calmly, clearly, and with enough space for someone to hear you. Rushing or raising your voice can shift the focus away from the issue itself.
3. Learn The Language of a Respectful No: Saying no does not have to be negative. Try simple phrases like “I do not have the bandwidth for that right now” or “That is not something I can take on this week.” You do not need a long explanation. Be thoughtful, direct, and kind.
4. Choose Words That Keep The Conversation Open: You do not have to soften the truth, but how you say it can make a big difference. Try using language that explains how the issue affects you or your work, instead of blaming or accusing. That shift can lead to a more productive conversation.
5. Protect Your Decision-Making Energy: Every choice costs mental energy, even the small ones. When your priorities and boundaries are unclear, you end up reevaluating everything, which leads to fatigue. It is the same feeling you get after making decisions all day, only to feel stuck on something simple like what to eat for dinner.
Reflection Questions:
What matters most in this season of my leadership? Am I protecting it with my time and energy?
What is something I keep saying yes to that is no longer serving me or my team?
Where in my schedule do I need to re-establish boundaries?
How comfortable am I saying no? What makes it difficult, and how could I approach it differently?
Do I have regular time set aside to think, plan, or reflect, or am I always in motion?
Strong leadership is not built on endless yeses. It is shaped by clarity, intention, and the discipline to protect what matters. The way you speak up and the limits you hold reflect what you value and help define the kind of leader you are.
To push your understanding of Knowing When to Speak Up to the next level, explore these valuable resources. They’ll help expand your skills and provide essential tools for building strong leadership.
Working Well: Saying no is hard, but setting boundaries can improve your health