Give Yourself a Break
At the Morgan County Probate Office, our leadership is often defined by how well we serve and support our community. But in the middle of meeting expectations and managing responsibilities, it is easy to forget that we also have a responsibility to lead ourselves with the same care we offer everyone else.
We hear a lot about grit and resilience in leadership, but we rarely talk about the cost of pressure. High standards without self-compassion can lead to burnout, harsh self-talk, and a constant feeling of not doing—or being—enough.
Self-compassion helps you lead from a steadier place. It means setting honest expectations, speaking to yourself with patience, and learning from mistakes without getting stuck in them. When you show that kind of care to yourself, it becomes easier to offer it to others too.
Rest is part of what makes good leadership possible. It keeps your thinking clear, your focus steady, and your energy from running out. You should not have to earn it. Making space to recover helps you stay present and lead well, especially when things are busy.
This final session in the Work/Life Balance module brings together the core practices we have already explored: recognizing your season, leading with intention, knowing when to speak up, and now, building a foundation of self-compassion that supports them all.
Self-Assessment: Give Yourself a Break
Please take a few moments to answer the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for growth in your leadership and daily life?
How do I speak to myself after a mistake?
Would I use that same tone with someone I work with?
Where am I holding myself to a standard that no longer fits my current season?
When was the last time I made time to rest or reset on purpose?
Do I treat recovery like a reward or like a requirement?
What helps me reset when I’ve had a long or difficult day?
Where do I offer grace to others but not to myself?
What message is my leadership sending about how we handle pressure and well-being?
This self-assessment serves as a starting point in understanding your current Work/Life Balance. Taking time to reflect on your answers and focusing on areas for growth will support your development.
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
You missed a deadline. It was a rough week, and unfortunately your focus was scattered. You feel frustrated, maybe even a little embarrassed. You catch yourself thinking, “You’re no good at this.” That voice is loud, it’s heavy… and it’s definitely not helping.
What should we do in these moments?
It’s not always easy to be kind to ourselves or to give ourselves a break. But why should we treat ourselves any less kindly than we treat those we care about?
Giving yourself a break may not come naturally, but neuroscience shows that self-compassion can help. Research has found that when we practice self-compassion, it actually reduces the brain’s stress response.¹ Instead of staying stuck in a cycle of criticism and anxiety, we shift into a state that supports recovery, calm, and clearer thinking. A 2023 review in Frontiers in Psychology found that self-compassion is linked to less burnout and stronger emotional resilience, especially in high-pressure roles. It helps your brain move out of threat mode so you can respond with more clarity and keep moving forward.
What does this research mean in everyday terms? The less stress we put on ourselves, the better we perform. When we stop beating ourselves up and start giving ourselves some grace, our brains work better. We feel less overwhelmed, we think more clearly, and we're able to bounce back quicker when things go wrong. So this week, allow yourself a break—not as a reward, but as a necessary part of living well.
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass... in spring... is by no means a waste of time.”
If it’s hard to give yourself a break, you’re not alone. These tips can help you ease into the practice of self-compassion:
Recognize Negative Self-Talk: Pay attention to your inner dialogue. The way you talk to yourself matters. If your inner voice is harsh, pause and ask, “Would I say this to someone else?” If you catch yourself being overly critical, try to reframe those thoughts with kindness and understanding.
Set Realistic Expectations: We all want to do our best, but no one can operate at full speed every day. Be honest with yourself about what’s realistic right now. If you’re pushing too hard, adjust. Cut yourself some slack and aim for progress, not perfection.
Learn From Mistakes: You’re going to mess up sometimes. That’s part of life. When things go wrong, reflect without spiraling. Ask yourself, “What happened? What can I learn? How do I grow from this?” Mistakes don’t define your worth. They can help shape your growth.
Schedule Time to Reset: You don’t just need time to work—you need time to breathe. If your day is packed from start to finish, even small problems can feel like big ones. Make sure you have a little space that isn’t filled with tasks, conversations, or obligations. A quiet moment, even five minutes, can help you reset and handle the rest of the day with more steadiness.
Normalize Rest and Recovery: Burnout shouldn’t be a badge of honor. Pay attention to signs of exhaustion or emotional overload. Instead of pushing through, pause and ask what you need. A rested mind makes clearer decisions and leads with more calm.
Celebrate Small Wins: It’s easy to overlook progress when you’re focused on what’s next. Slow down long enough to notice what’s going well. Celebrate the small things, even if it’s just making it through a tough day. Encouragement matters, and so does recognizing your effort.
In the Work/Life Balance module of the MCPO Way, we’ve explored the importance of recognizing the season we’re in, leading ourselves with intention, and speaking up for our needs and boundaries. Self-compassion is the thread that weaves these elements together. It reminds us that rest isn’t something to earn—it’s something we deserve, simply because we matter too.
Reflection Questions:
How do I speak to myself after a mistake? Would I use that same tone with someone I work with?
When I make a mistake, how long do I carry it with me?
How often do I pause to recognize progress or wins?
Have I allowed myself a break this week?
How do I know when I’m nearing burnout, and do I respond to those signs?
Expand your understanding of Giving Yourself a Break with the following resources. Use this opportunity to refine your leadership skills and navigate challenges with the care and professionalism that define The MCPO Way.
The Productivity Paradox - Psychology Today
The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion
Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen
Burnout and the Brain – Association for Psychological Science